Feeling good but need her

After a full day without exhausting myself I feel so good and fresh after I slept for the night however my plans for studying were failed by one of my classmate who spent nearly three hours in my room talking utter non sense that I regret because I wanted to study and I am now trying to make plans for my upcoming tests.

I am also going to watch a movie today and some match and also have some plans for reading LOTR. For all this I think I have to make a tight schedule and also have to follow it to make it succeed.

People think I am a fool and they can use me for their selfish reasons but that's not gonna happen. I am feeling so disturbed as I am going to complete college in one year but I still don't have good marks or any thing that I can show to my kins. I am a total failure in this life but I deeply want to change my life by doing something big.

I have a few plans and I will try them when I get out of the college with a degree in my hands and a girl in my life(I hope so).I told you that I am going to proporse her this week until unless she is alone and sitting not just running. Please hope she atleast give me a chance as all the boys of my class wants to get her though they not dare to speak her name loudly but I think I do have a few chances as I examined some moments of my past that she was looking at me and we both smiled though it was a joke told by our teacher but time stopped for once, I don't know if I am overthinking but I saw something in her eyes.

Another moment was that one day she came from outside and I was standing but I saw her and she was continously looking towards me and I felt so uncomfortable and it was against her nature so it is hars to guess that she stared at me because she like me or because she was just looking. After that day I was standing with one of my classmate in corridor and she looked at me for a while and seriously I am stunned and it means she is not that much shy as I thought she was but is that also means that she like me because I am confused. After that day she not even looked at me though I saw her laughing and listening music inside class with headphones and it again made me wonder about her nature.

Please share your views on this post and especially on the last part of it.